My Anthem

song of the moment: By Our Love, by christy nockels

By Our Love. Christy Nockels

Verse 1

Brothers let us come together/ walking in the Spirit

There’s much to be done/ We will come reaching/ Out from our comforts

And they will know us by our love

Verse 2

Sisters we were made for kindness/ We can pearce the darkness

As He shines through us/ We will come reaching/ With a song of healing/

And they will know us by our love

Chorus

The time is now/ Come Church arise

Love with His hands/ See with His eyes

Bind it around you/ Let it never leave you

And they will know us by our love

Verse 3

Children you are hope for justice/ stand firm in the truth now

Set your hearts above/ you will be reaching long after we’re gone

And the will know you by your love

Chorus 2x

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i love to help people. people who cannot help themselves. this is one of the reasons i am being drawn to this church- the theme of loving the unloveable. of tangibly showing the grace of God. of being the hands and feet of Jesus Christ.

http://passioncitychurch.com/worldrelief/PassionCityChurch-WorldRelief.pdf

reality check

song of the moment: disappointed, by micah dalton

this could come across as "holier than thou", so let me preface this blog by saying that i have seen every single episode of grey's anatomy. literally...i remember the very first episode and could tell you the life story of every major character. the show premiered (i think) my junior year of college. we had parties at our house (which was my fav place i have lived, to date) on sunday nights. desperate housewives at 8. grey anatomy at 9. when i lived in california, this show was what i looked forward to every week. when i moved back in w my parents, they knew the tv was mine on thurs nights. when i moved out, i watched it religiously, every thursday. i have cried during most episodes. i feel like i know these people. tonite it was different.

tonite was the 2 hour premier of season 6. def the most emotional, twisty, unexpected episode i have seen. and i cried.....not once. obviously, most of the show takes place in a hospital. all i could think about the whole time was ava, griffin, nolan, meisa, maddie, matt....the countless hours they have and will spend in hospitals. all these kids. all these parents. all of these real people....with real stories of heart breaking pain. tragedy. sacrafice. hurt. mourning. sadness.....peace. love. restoration. thankfulness. and all of the sudden, these emotions that i have been wasting on entertainment are gone and i am reminded again of these families who have forever changed my life. not a day goes by that i do not think about these little heros. my heart will not let me watch this show any more.

goodbye grey's. thanks for the memories.....

I will never be the same....

My heart is full after this past week at the Lighthouse Family Retreat. Its so crazy how God can bind hearts together in such a short period of time. There is absolutely no place I would have rather been over the last 6 days.

There are a few things I realized about myself while at the Lighthouse. 1- Literally, from the time I was in kindergarten until my junior year of high school, I wanted to be a 2nd grade teacher. And this week, I remembered why. Don't worry. I am not going to quit my job & be a teacher. I know way to much about the school system in general... I do however, love children and being a part of shaping their lives.

2- I can serve the Lord here. This is a little more of a loaded "learning", but I have really been struggling with what I can physically "do" to help people. I have been drawn to missions abroad (I THINK) because it is easy for me to see what "they" need. I'm a do-er, a fix-er, a problem solver. These people need food. They need water. They need to learn how to read. They need money. Those things, I can help with. I have had the hardest time finding my place for service here in post college world.....i guess this is now WAY post college.... In college, when I worked in the Store, I could help people every day- whether it was just talking to them about their day or helping get their kids to the car. I am still working through all that I learned this week, but for now, I have learned that I can serve. I can listen. I can pray. I can love. I can just "be" with people. I can cry with them. I can love their kids. I can let them have time away. I can have

compassion towards them.

I suppose that these families of children with cancer are a niche of people that I never really considered before. They may not need food and water, but they all need the Prince of Peace.

Now, not a day will go by that I don't think about this group of people. I will not choose to not think about these people. I will get involved.

The Jacobs family has left a mark on my life that will be there forever. It is crazy to think that this time last week, I did not know them, but have been forever changed by them and their story. The Lighthouse has changed me.

Ava starts ballet class today and Amy wrote on my facebook that she asked if I would be there to watch her. ....Of course I cried. I am a basket case these days. If you have made it this far....thank you for reading. Please pray for Ava tomorrow. She has an MRI to see if any cancer cells are back. And say an extra special prayer for Jeremy and Amy too.... my heros.

Take a look at some pictures from the Lighthouse Family Retreat on my facebook page. There were way too many to post here.

Also, take a look at this charity that the Jacobs are working to set up.

http://www.braveheartsforkids.org/

http://www.facebook.com/braveheartsforkids

http://twitter.com/braveheartskids

http://www.youtube.com/user/braveheartsforkids

cancer sucks

cancer sucks.

"Praise the Lord! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting. The Lord builds up Jerusalem; he gathers the outcasts of Isreal. He heals the brokenheared and binds up their wounds. He determines the number of stars; he gives them all their names. Great is our Lord, and abundant in power; his understanding is beyond measure." Ps 147:1-5

So many emotions are running through me right now. I am balling my eyes out & I'm so mad at the same time. I want to fix everything. I do not understand.

Everything looks different to me now when viewing it through the lens of childhood cancer. Verses are interpreted differently. Songs sung differently. & Definitely more treasured moments.

The only thing I can claim right now is "his understanding is beyond measure". These parents are heros.

Mesa- will have chemotherapy for the rest of her life.

Griffin....will have a bone marrow transplant at the end of the month.

Sarah

Aiden

Sweet Ava

Mommy practice

Today was full of FUN! I love my girls! We all wore green today! Totally unplanned! :) love it!

We started the day off with breakfast, family quiet times & Flip Flops. Flip Flop basically starts with a big dance party led by the staff while the volunteers run over to their family's house & tidy up- make the beds, wash clothes, etc. Then we're BACK to just play with the kids and make sure everyone is having a good time. During Flip Flops, the parents are at Common Grounds, which is a time where they can all share about their experience.

Tonight was date night for the parents

so we had a fabulous ice cream sundae party & movie under the stars on the beach. The kids had a blast! ....almost as much fun as I had.

I am so out of practice! Once upon a wonderful time, I chased the Kirby kids around all the time, but that seems like a whole 'nother world ago. Today was a good reminder that mommies never have time to eat. They have really strong arms from carrying tired babies. & they don't think twice about it b/c of those sweet little souls.

"Come on Over/ Come on In/ Come on down to the Lighthouse"

song of the moment: charmed life by joy williams

Today was so much more than I hoped it could be!

Let me start off with a few details to get you "in the know". Each volunteer (family partner) is assigned to a meal time and to one family. My meal time is breakfast (of course it would be), so every morning I'll be on the team that helps prepare breakfast for all of the volunteers and families. My family is the Jacob's family. They are SO PRECIOUS! I already love them so much! Being partnered with this family was absolutely God ordained!

I was a little nervous coming down because I didn't know anyon

e, except Brett, who is doin a rockin job leading worship for us. (Shameless plug- buy his CD here.) Little did I know & much to my delight, Brett's lovely fiance, Ansley, is also here.

I was also a little worried about being sad b/c I am such a sucker for kids...& i internalize EVERYTHING. Needless to say, any nervousness or apprehension I had beforehand is completely gone. All of the volunteers & staff are completely amazing and there is constant laughter from all the kids who are having the time of their life here!

Now, more about my family- the girls are Adley, Ella & Ava (pictured). Ella is the big sister & she is all about taking care of her sisters. Ava is a fighter! She has the sweetest spirit, is such

a share-er & can keep up with the best of 'em. Ava was diagnosed with a brain tumor at 13 months but she has been cancer free for 1 year!!! Adley is the baby- she seems to be a little bit more independent and is as sweet as they come! Their mom and dad are the greatest- the kind of ppl you feel like you've known forever. I can't wait to get to know them better!

So there's a little snap shot of the day. More to come tomorrow....with lots more pictures of my girls! For now, I'll leave you with this pic....no, thats not the Publix guy going to get the car. It's Brett, being a servant- even in the monsoon. Thanks dude :)

I'm BACK!

Song of the Moment: True Love by Phil Wickham

Yes, after a 3 month blog sabatical....I am back! MUCH has happened over the last several months. Much I will spare you from. The quick highlights- IF began....and ended, wonderfully. I moved to a new place, which you will see soon, & I'm living by myself. Not so sure I like that, but the place is cool. I joined a ROCKIN' small group. Didn't know any of them before hand, but my good friend, Elizabeth, connected us. AND finally, 6....yes 6....of my good friends have moved to different states. I don't mean acquaintances-these are like the ppl i hung out with every wknd kind of friends. They are all off doing incredible things- like grad school at Harvard or University of California or Stanford (yes, I have smart friends....maybe it will rub off) or getting great new jobs, so needless to say, I am thrilled for all of them and the great things that the Lord has in store for their lives. However, I do feel a little bit like a lost puppy....so I'm trying to fill my time with new places, experiences, people and even hobbies, which brings me to where I am at this moment.

Several months ago, one of my best buds went on a mission trip and couldn't stop talking about the experience & thought that I would love it too. So, I decided to check it out. I am in Florida at the Lighthouse Family Retreat. It is retreat for families who have kids with cancer. I'll explain more as the week goes on, but I am fully expecting God to do huge things this week. I'm sure tears will be shed, laughs will be had and lives will be changed. I'll try to update a little bit every day this week and post a few pictures so you can go on this journey with me. If you think about it this week, please pray for the 10 families who will be arriving tomorrow- that they will be well taken care of by us so they can enjoy each other, and that they would know Him as Everlasting Father and Prince of Peace.